Perhaps the traditions of the Roman Catholic Church need updating.

Like this whole conclave business. Getting a bunch of more than 100 guys (and they all are guys) from all around the world into a single room is logistically complicated. It’s expensive. And there aren’t a lot of promotional opportunities. Besides, Thomas Friedman is telling us that the world is flat.

Videoconferencing would be a step up, but if we’re really going to select a pope for the new millennium, the cardinals should communicate via text messages on cell phones. They can be all over the place, and they can do it while having other conversations. One provider can sponsor the whole thing, maybe even give them all Blackberries, too.

After he’s been elected, maybe you can sew a little cell phone company logo on his vestments, somewhere. You know, appeal to those NASCAR Catholics…