Gastric bypass surgery is nice and all, but once you have it, you can’t just eat anything you want. It’s positively inhumane!
America needs a new kind of gastric bypass surgery, one where you can eat anything you want, and as much of it, but where most of the calories simply aren’t absorbed (without unfortunate side effects).
If you invented this, you would be hailed as a hero today—but future generations might accuse you of war crimes for encouraging overconsumption.
Jon Lasser 
Here’s a thought: if you’re overweight, what about eating less, exercising more, and having a realistic idea of how fast you’ll lose weight? Maybe I should patent this.
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Phil, you should know by now that “realistic” is inherently an unamerican idea. Also, self-control is unamerican too.
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